UNSENT.

Dear MUFFiN,

I’ve known u since 2^nd grade. Ure my best guy friend in the whole world. U know that. I have told u once when we were havin coffee at Starbucks around 5am, after that one crazy party, Ure my ONE GREAT LOVE. Although I was a bit drunk, I know what im saying that morning. But u just laughed at my face coz ure tipsy too. But I know u know that really. YOU ARE.

I never had a bf. U knew that by heart. But most times, I never felt single coz ure always around. Can u still remember our pact back in highschool? That if we reach 30 and we’re still unattached, we’ll give it a shot? Haha. It was a silly pact between 16 year old kids. But u know, Im trying to fast forward my mind 8 years later and see what will happen if we do end up together. OMFG!!. I just can’t imagine. Eew.

We’re both 22 now. Im still single. . I don’t know if ure still holding on to that pact. Coz I know that u want someone else now. But that’s okie. Theres still 8 years to go. Theres still time. But u know what? If ure a STRAIGHT guy, I will marry u on my 23^rd bday. But ure NOT. So I guess, im not counting anymore. I realized, I don’t want to marry you anymore. I figured, what the heck?! I can’t marry my brother. Yep. Ure not just the guy friend. You’re my BROTHER. I remember I told u that in the letter I gave u during our retreat in 6^th grade. We were 12 years old back then. Maybe u thought I just wrote that to impress u. But I meant what I said in that letter.You’re the brother I never had. That’s why right now, I’M OFFICIALLY STATING OUR PACT TO BE NULL AND VOID. Don’t count on it anymore. Im sure when u read this, you’ll be happy. Coz youre already free. U can now extend your singlehood until u reach 50. You can now date hot guys for as long as you like until u get wrinkles. Another reason why I’m considering our pact null and void is that, if we marry each other, we’ll just get divorced/annulled sooner and end up hating each other. Just like Brad and Jennifer. I don’t want that to happen. Im not hoping for it to happen. I want u to remain my brother and my muffin. Coz bestfriends are forever. And I think we’re perfectly fine that way.

Dear BEBZ,

You are my soul-mate. We’ve been besrfriends since 5^th grade. From highschool to college, we’re always together. If people were asking where I am, they’d probably know the answer, IM WITH YOU. And if they are looking for you, they would say, YOURE WIT ME. It’s always like that. I think the main reason why I never dated a boy is because we are INSEPARABLE.

We’re so close that’s why even we just hang out together the whole day, we still have the energy to talk over the fon. Non-sense topics and Stories we tell each other over and over and over again but we still love hearing them. It’s as if we’re never running out of stories and gossips. We always had a good laugh especially when we’re criticizing the TRYNG-TOO-HARD, gymnast wanna-be girl back in Highschool. U still remember her? YEAH. The 3-letter nickname that she uses. UGH. I hate her.

We are very similar in many aspects. We like fashion, trendy bags, HOT bad boys and GOSSiP GiRL. Yeah ure a BiTCH like Blair. And im the SWEET, SASSY Serena. And im quite thankful coz although we fight over Vic Zhu’s character in METEOR GARDEN way way back, it never really occurred in Real life. We never really fight over some stupid guy. Actually, we never really had any fight to begin with. That’s how compatible we are. If u were a boy, I’d probably DATE you.

But now were miles apart, it seems that my days are empty. My fon is not ringing anymore the way it used to when ure here. I miss it when ure saying funny remarks about random people. Youre a real CLOWN. U always make me laugh the hardest.

To the point wherein I cant breathe anymore and happy tears are already evident.

It’s a nice feeling having a friend who is not laughing AT me. But Laughing WITH ME
I kinda miss that feeling. I don’t even know if i still have the same big laughter I used to have when you’re still here with me. Sometimes, I wish u never left. But things happen for a reason. U always tell me that. And for whatever reason it is, I guess, its all for the best.

Dear Tinangkz.

My soul-sister. We’ve known each other since we were 15. We were in highschool then. I wouldn’t have known u if it werent for kaye. Im glad shes our common friend coz if not, our path wouldn’t have crossed.

Ure a new student in our school. So we’re not really fond of each other. I never really thought u would be my friend u know? First, coz u beat my ass and my team’s ass in volleyball when we were in 2^nd year highschool. We really want to win badly that time. But u were really good than the rest of all the players combined. I dunno where did u get that power with that slim figure u have. It’s still a mystery to me until now. Second, I thought u were shy and quiet. A TOTAL opposite of me. I figure, “ darn, shes not talking.” But when we became classmates in junior year, Ure a big revelation to me. U really do talk. Hahaha…

I cant remember how it exactly happened but I found myself, opening up to u and showing u my drawings. Well not really. U caught me drawing a girl wearing a dress during one of those boring classes. And u were like, "WOW. Ang galing mo naman!" As if it's the most amazing drawings on earth. U always have faith in me u know. ure like the wind beneath my wings. U taught me how to calculate sin and co sin in geometry class. Gosh! I hate math. And I guess, ure also one of the reasons why Im single. Coz u were always with me. And im also the reason why u never really had a bf, coz im always with you.

Remember we used to go home together after school? We used to buy banana cue then eat it while walking in your neighborhood and while looking out at cute guys playing basketball. It was alott of fun. Ure home is few blocks away from mine so im always dropping by at ur place. Before I thought your little bro, Raymond was kinda cute. If he was like, older than me, I thought id probably asked him out. we can be sisters-in-law. Haha.

You're in Hawaii now. Million miles away from here. But I never really felt the distance. Coz u never forget. Im glad we were able to keep that promise we had despite the long distance. WALANG KALIMUTAN. You call me from time to time and I really appreciate it. Even if ure calling as early as 7am (manila time) and im still sleeping. Im happy coz im hearing my phone ringing again. And im thrilled to hear it's my same old best friend shouting on the phone asking me to wake up and talk to her. Just like the old days. Its been what, 5 years without seeing u. im thinking, are u still slim? Are u taller than me now? That I don't know. but I know u just had a butterfly tattooed on your back. COOL. I wish I have a courage like you to do that. Its liberating to finally come out of your shell. im happy for you coz u finally outgrown ur shyness. Good Job.

And finally, after 5 years, we will be seeing each other again. weeks from now, we’ll be seeing each other again. live and on the flesh. Im soo excited. I cant wait.

Dear Brown Eyes,

You were my first serious crush. I met u when I transferred to a new school in 3^rd year college. I was a newbie in that school. And I didn’t realize that u were quite popular until the time I finally know who u are.

Its 7am. Youre sitting 2 seats opposite from me. First day of class. I never really had a chance to look around the room coz im too busy reading the Medical-Surgical nursing book that I bought. But I seem to glance at the seat where u are. Then I continue reading my book again coz I learned that the next prof likes to give pop quizzes. The prof didn’t give a pop quiz. Instead, he asked the class to stand up and introduce ourselves one by one. I wasn’t able to hear what u said. Coz I was too busy reciting to myself what im goin to say. The class was over. Finally, im going home.

I was inside the same jeep u were riding. U were sitting next to me. I didn’t realize it was you until you looked in my direction and offered to pay my fare. I was still thinking what your name is when u started a conversation. That’s when I noticed, u have big brown eyes. And that’s when I realized, youre kinda cute. For a moment I thought, going to a new school is not that bad as I thought it would be.

My crush for u gets bigger and bigger since u and I belong to the same group. I had the best group among all the rest of the 3^rd year nursing students because you were a member of it. I found myself smiling before going to bed coz I know I’ll be seeing you again the next day. I had really happy memories with you. I can still remember that midnight after duty, u drive me home. I went for a backride on your motorcycle. It’s the first time a guy took me home. EVER. We bid our goodbyes and I said “thank you.” you were smiling and suddenly, you KiSSED me on the cheek. I never see it coming. It was another first. I don’t know if I should consider that as my FIRST KISS since its just on the cheek. but on the other hand, I was NEVER been kissed buy a guy in any way before. So I can say, its my unofficial first kiss.

I want u to know that I still have with me the SLAM BOOK I asked u to sign on. There’s the “Who’s Your Crush” question, I smiled when I saw my nickname written in ALL CAPS to the space provided. I guess our friends have seen that since I asked them to sign as well. Brown eyes, u just made me happy that day.

The last time we saw each other was during our GRADUATION. Its been a long time. Im glad u still keep in touch. But when u get to see this, don’t laugh at me. I have outgrown my little crush on you a LONG TIME AGO. So don’t act as if ure a king ok. Hehe.. But u know what, maybe if u just pursue me and told me personally that u kinda like me too, I probably would have said,YES.

Dear Ronald James,

I just want u to know that I started having a crush when I was 8. This is the first time im gonna tell you that the boy im having a crush on was YOU. we were classmates since kindergarten until 3^rd grade. We were playmates when we were younger. I never knew the word CUTE until I saw u in 2^nd grade in a different light. I don’t know what happened. I have no idea why I started hanging out less with the girls and decided to hang out with YOU and KISHIN. I guess since the 3 of us were classmates since kinder 2, there was an instant connection between the 3 of us. I was never shy in front of u guys.

I don’t have any idea when I started liking you. Maybe, it was during ART CLASS when u taught me how to draw a pond with a fish swimming in it. Then u taught me how to color without going over the lines. I am smiling everytime I remember you and those things u taught me. I still smile everytime im hearing the song u dedicated for me during MUSIC CLASS That old song of TRUE FAITH still never fades. I want you to know that I’ve tried so many times to get the M result in FLAMES. I always end up with F as in FRIENDS or A as in ANGER. But I didn’t give up. I wanted to get a better result. L or S would be good. I put both our middle names. Finally, I got M for MARRIAGE. I think its cute. I was 8 that time. Don’t blame me.

I don’t know what happened in 3^rd grade, we were not close anymore. We were not talking, hanging out together anymore.. then 4^th grade came, we belong to different classes. I guess that somehow ended our friendship. I know u transferred to a different school. After 5^th grade, I don’t have any news about you. But, I tried to google you hoping I can see u on the net. Ive also tried searching for u in FRIENDSTER but I ended up looking on a black guy’s page. I guess I already gave up my hopes on seeing you again. But still, im gonna try to search you on MYSPACE. I don’t have FACEBOOK. That’s the only 2 social networking accounts that I have.

RONALD JAMES SAN DIEDO. If u happen to see this, Pls pls. Let me know. and to all the readers, if u happen to know this guy, tell him I miss him ALOTT.


Dear FeeLing Pogi,

I used to think u were ok. We were in first year highschool when u started calling me in my home asking me if there’s a possibility that Id say YES if u were to court me. I was shocked coz I cant believe im talking about this non sense issue instead of watching GHOST FIGHTER on tv. I was thirteen years old. And thirteen-year-old-girls are supposed to watch cartoons instead of listening to another thirteen-year-old boy’s declaration of admiration. I wonder if u noticed how annoyed I was when u asked me if u can take me home. Hello?! Can’t u see read? IM NOT INTERESTED.

I never took it seriously coz I know another smart girl just recently dumped you. I figure, ure on a rebound stage. And u were asking me those things to conceal the fact that MY close friend dumped you. Very clever. But I won’t deny that I was a bit affected when u tried to deny that asked me out. Not that im soo into you or anything.. I just thought ure a LOSER. Am I that hideous or something?! C’mon! why didn’t u just said yes when u were asked? Well, I just wanna let you know, being admired by you is not something I should brag about. Its not something I would want to write on my resume either. Im just telling u I also denied it to the people who asked me about it. now, were even.

Dear Nick Carter,

I know you. But u don’t know me. Maybe u don’t even know I exists. Nick, I love you since I was 9 years old. But I think I was too young to date at that time. I just wanna inform you, you were my official boyfriend for 4 years. 12 until I turned 16. My parents approved it. I knew all your songs. I grew uplistening to your Music. I’ve practiacally seen all your music videos. But I must admit ALL I HAVE TO GIVE is my personal favorite. You’re soo cute on that music vid. I have your posters on my wall. Because im so crazy about you, I even used ure name as my email password. Haha…

But as I grew older, I found myself removing Ure posters and the other BACKSTREET BOYS’ posters on my wall. Im removing it not because im liking a new band or group. Certainly not because I don’t loveyou anymore. Maybe because im starting to grow up. But I will forever be you BACKSTREET GIRL. And im keeping my email password.

Dear PAST,

You are like the photographs of ex-boyfriends that I Desperately want to throw away. But I can’t bring myself to get rid of them. So instead, I store them in an old shoe box, in the back of my closet figuring that it doesn’t hurt to save them. Just in case I want to open that box and remember some of the good times.

“Just like the seasons, people have the ability to CHANGE.

It doesn’t happen very often. But when it does, its almost always right.

Sometimes it takes whats BROKEN becoming WHOLE again…

Sometimes it takes opening up to NEW people and letting them in.

But most times, it takes just one person who is truly afraid to show what they FEEL, getting an OPPORTUNITY they never thought possible.

And some things NEVER change… Let a NEW game BEGIN.”

Xoxo, GOSSiP GiRL.